Love is Patient, Love is Kind

Originally Published in the Kindness of God (Fall 2009) Issue

While love is often considered to be the greatest of human emotions, the true significance of this passage is illuminated by another word. One of the Bible’s most recognized passages, 1 Corinthians 13:4 proclaims the supreme devotion of God, defining love as “kind.” Kindness resonates as a truly human characteristic that is a direct gift from God to us.

John writes that God is love (1 John 4:8). In Aristotelian agreement, if God is love and love is kind, then kindness and God are equivalent.

The expectation of human kindness is an expectation of humanity, that humans will act with reciprocal decency and courtesy. Even the Golden Rule of kindergarten instructs children to expect quid pro quo for their actions. Unfortunately, this expectation ultimately defeats the heart of kindness.

But what is kindness? In his Summa Theologiae, Thomas Aquinas questioned the heart of kindness: “Is it an act of charity? Are we bound to be kind to everyone? In being kind to others are we bound to prefer those who are more closely connected? Is kindness a special virtue?” Aquinas concluded that kindness cannot be an act of charity as it is ultimately directed to God, and we cannot be kind to Him. Showing kindness, however, is an act of charity in the sense of doing good to another. As a result, Aquinas concluded, kindness is the greatest effect of love.

By extension, however, kindness seems to pertain to both sides of a relationship; is it your own action, materially lending something to a stranger, or conceptually lending a shoulder to a friend? Or is it the receivers’ gratitude and recognition of your exertion? Kindness, for the unequivocal reason of expressing God’s love and humanity with no expectation of reciprocation, is the essence of true humanity.

Luke 6:35 asks us to “love our enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and our reward shall be great.” But this reward of which he speaks has little to do with material possession, public recognition, or even personal hubris. Rather, it is the philosophical and spiritual understanding that through kindness we emulate God and share His love with the world and His spirit with humanity.

While Romans 3:12 and much of our modern media might suggest that true, selfless human kindness is illusory and futile (“All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one,”) if you believe that God saved us as a result his own kindness (Titus 3:4-5) and that we are, as Genesis 1:27 famously proclaims, created in God’s own image, then Romans 3:12 is simply positioning that our humanity is but a challenge for us to overcome. In fact, later in Romans 3:21 humanity is proclaimed to be saved by having faith in Jesus Christ. As all of humanity have sinned and fallen short, every soul is freely redeemed through God’s sacrifice.

The Lord sacrificed His Son with love to save our souls through kindness. If humanity reflects God and God is love and love is kindness, then ultimately acting in kindness is expressing God.

Traditionally and rhetorically, kindness has maintained a variety of interpretations but remains a direct gift from God and the ultimate human emotion.

From a position of semantics, what is it about the modern connotation of the word "kind" that differs so substantially from any understanding in the past?

Contemporary kindness is attributed either to those who actively go out of their way to be helpful, charitable, and considerate or to those who are vaguely representative of something, but not actually qualified enough to be deemed worthy of the full title, for example “kind of.” Kindness does not evoke the modern comprehension of the argot du jour, “compassion,” “sympathy,” or “empathy.” Perhaps it is the secondary definition, the homonym, that proves destructive to its former glory as the ultimate gift and the supreme compliment.

Unlike today, where the term kindness fails to actually express the significance of the trait, historically, three Greek words were used to convey the contemporaneously singular trait. The Greek terms differentiated between the moral and internal aspects from the external proclamations.

Chresteuomai, as used in the translation of 1 Corinthians 13:4, is “to show one’s self mild, to be kind, to use kindness.” Chrestos, used in the books of Luke and Matthew are related to goodness, virtue and benevolence of individuals. The final translation of kindness is chrestotes, signifying moral goodness and integrity. This denotation was utilized in Romans and Titus among others.

It would seem that the kindness of the Bible has been bypassed, bordered between a holiday of thanks (and food) and a holiday of love (and gifts.) Where has the selfless kindness gone? Kindness at its heart is part of your soul and is, in itself, a gift, granted by God for our own joy, which in turn returns the gift to Him to Him. It is a cycle of gift-giving. For a culture based on materiality, kindness is the ultimate present. But kindness, at its heart, is not about sharing material possessions, although the representation of kindness is often through material or at least corporeal action, rather than the solely metaphysical.

World Kindness Day is annually celebrated on November 13, but in the eyes of God, every day is world kindness day. The currently popular ARK movement (Acts of random kindness) similarly defeats the ultimate meaning of kindness. Ultimately, acts of kindness should not be random. By methodically choosing to live our lives for the greater glory of God, we are inherently condoning and actively supporting the essence of kindness as God intended. The essence of kindness is, as a result, worshipping and glorifying God through our fellow human beings. However, a random act of kindness is a redeemable commencement; perhaps beginning with a random act of kindness will lead to a life of kindness, as a kind life is not lived for your own self worth, but for the worth of God.

In the Catholic Church, Saints Sylvia (mother of Gregory the Great), Nicholas (later Santa Claus), Ambrose and Charles Boromeo are specifically recognized for their acts of kindness, as is Blessed Mother Teresa. However, as kindness is inherent to the work of God, the title of Patron Saint of Kindness cannot be granted. Patron Saints, by virtue, exemplify the characteristic of true kindness.

As Galatians 5:19-23 heralds, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Celebrate the holidays of thanks and love and celebrate kindness as a gift from and for God. According to C.S. Lewis, “nothing except kindness is really good.” Kindness is doing something without expectation of reciprocation. Quid pro quo is not relevant in God’s eyes. God sent us His Son out of love, took His Son out of love and consequently, shared love and kindness with the world. Love is patient, and love is kind. Share your love, patience, and, ultimately, your kindness with the world, and share God’s love and greatest gift.

Works Cited

Aquinas, Thomas, Summa Theologiae, Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1964.

Lewis, C.S. The Problem of Pain, New York: Harper Collins, 1996.

http://www.actsofkindness.org/

http://www.antioch.com.sg/cgi-bin/bible/ vines/get_defn.pl?num=1567

http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/ greek/nas/chrestotes.html http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/ apologetics/ap0032.html

http://dictionary.oed.com/cgi/entry/50126741?single=1&query_type=wo rd&queryword=kindness&first=1&max_to_ show=10